The Devil supports the Koran, a book which doesn't support him. Fishy.

The world experienced mixed feelings today as southern redneck pastor Terry Jones called off his new international holiday, "Burn a Koran Day". The holiday was originally set on September 11th, in honor of the terrorist attacks against America, and also in opposition to the Islamic community center being built near Ground Zero. He, however, has cancelled the holiday.

While this was originally met with glee from sane people who didn't want more excuses for terrorist attacks on America, many quickly realized that they would now lack an excuse to kill, punish, or imprison Jones, an apparently psychotic Christian (surprise surprise). "I was just as relieved as the next guy, but at the same time I was sad that this guy has a lower chance of being shot by someone. It's a real shame that the politically correct aren't able to destroy this guy like a watermelon shot by a magnum." said some quotable person.

Sources tell that Jones apparently cancelled the plans because the Islamic leaders promised to move the community center. They were quoted saying: "Er, whut?" Others speculate that Jones was just joking all along and isn't manly enough to follow through with his claims.

Jones is taking this turn of events very seriously, as he was trying to attract even more attention to himself by juggling chainsaws on a tight rope over fire. "Me, me, me! Hey guys, lookie here! I was just joking about the whole burning the Koran day thing, LOL! Just keep me on news and TV! Hi mom!"

So, what have we learned from yet another religiously-provoked American incident? Let's go over the list: Americans are idiots, Christians are idiots, Rednecks from the south are idiots, and I suck at reporting the news. Wait, we already knew all of that stuff. How about we just get some other news, that can actually have some humour value? Anyone?