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1:25AM 7 February 2012

Headlines

Breaking News

Americans go crazy over primaries, mental hospital admissions through the roof

Google Instant makes search times a thing of the places to see in London

Royal Mail to be sold to an Arab gentleman for magic beans

Mary Juana not likely to be legalized any time soon, returns to sex dungeon downhearted

Blair to give royalties from memoires to the Poverty in Tony Blairs Foundation

Repairman hired to fix it

News is something that we really don't understand

TUC Declares War on the Government

Ryan Mortlock defends the rights of workers since labour is not there for them

Reported by Ryan Mortlock, 8:10PM 14th September 2010

Royal Mail to Sell off the Government

Ryan defends a mental institution.

13 Sep ~ Ryan Mortlock

G$$gle: Internet to Be Sold in Time-Shares

Google reveals its true colours - no, not the blue, red, yellow and green.

16 Aug ~ Ryan Mortlock

BP Warned That Oil Pipe in the Gulf of Mexico May Be Hiding WMDs

With an American Government Takeover Imminent, Ryan Mortlock defends his honour.

3 Aug ~ Ryan Mortlock

Headlines

Redneck Pastor Cuts 'Burn a Koran' Day

Opposers experience mixed feelings as they realize an excuse to kill the man fades away

Politics

2012 Doom Sayers May Yet Be Right As Palin Hints at Presidential Bid

She may be a nut, but all signs point to a possible takeover attempt as the trippy Governer of Alaska hits the campaign trail.

Tabloid Grout

Tabloid Grout: 12th Sep

Ryan Mortlock meanders through the back pages of the bedsheets, making it blatantly obvious he hasn't read a paper in quite a while. Ryan strolls through the world of policemen's tighty whities, Casino scams, expensive sarnies and dwindling library attendance.