They can marry at last.

America once again flexes it's Constitutional muscles against the radical Republicans: the ban on gay marriage in California, called Prop 8, has been overruled by a particularly fruity judge. Now California has joined some other homo states with the ability to have gay people permanently bond.

The homosexual population immediately responded with the world's largest recorded gay orgy, or something hawt like that. Republicans, on the other hand, sat around and pouted, saying that God will smite all of us. Some guy who thought he would make a cool older brother tried to talk them round, but they stubbornly remained in the corner sulking, refusing all attempts to join in with the other kids. Eventually their parents had to be called and they were taken home.

Gay marriage was famously outlawed in America by Jesus himself, who while wiping the blond hair out of his forgetmenot blue eyes decided that the idea of two dudes railroading each other to the sound of upbeat techno was not something that he condoned.

Legal Eagles

The repeal of this law ends a century long contradiction in American law, where the flambouyant queers that were so instrumental in arranging the bouquet and making the wedding dress for the big day were denied the privelege of actually getting married themselves. Always the bridesmaid and never the bride, but no longer. With the passing of this groundbreaking legislation the gay community are at last able to do what they've always wanted to: share a lifelong commitment with their partner, slowly drifting into a pathological hatred of each other and becoming increasingly petty and argumental as the hopelessness of the failed marriage towers around them, blocking the sun from their vision and ultimately leading to their alcohol-related death. Though it should be slightly easier for them as there's less chance of kids being added into the equation.

The ruling does not immediately allow California same-sex couples to marry, as US District Judge Vaughn Walker has delayed final entry of his judgement so he can first conduct proper research into the "exact nature of what goes on in gay marriages." Appropriate example material was quickly compiled, and its expected he'll have finished his review by the weekend, minus some hand lube.