There are downsides however.

Literally tens of people were in uproar this morning as the British government said they were considering scrapping the annual practice of putting the clocks back an hour each October. This would mean an extra hour of beard all through winter, providing slightly more warmth for outdoor leisure activities and just the creepiness required for festive bouts of dogging as the days slowly dwindle into almost 12 hour darkness.

While many have supported the idea, a much larger proportion of the population said they didn't care. A couple of farmers from Norwrich have hidden themselves in a cave for fear that its a sign of 'the end times', but for the most part the proposed change was approved with a lazy "if you must".

This change will bring Britain in-line with much of the rest of Europe, save for the French who forego shaving time altogether. The idea became popular on the continent when it was discovered an extra hour of beard added an extra 4% onto a countries GDP as Santa-based winter economies proved much more successful. Crime was lowered significantly because would-be criminals now had to contend with evidence getting caught in their beard and giving them away, obesity following it down close behind. Even general happiness statistics showed signs of improvement as new and exciting sex positions became available with the addition of more beard, the pornography industry enjoying fruitful growth as the resulting beardcore genre soared in popularity.

Beards are cool.